It is all different

Have you ever woken up, and the feel of the sun coming into the blinds is not bad at all?

There used to be times when every day felt the same, like nothing would ever change and I would be left to repeat my patterns until I grew numb to them all. I would fall asleep alone, in my big ass bed, huddled into a ball grabbing my pillow and hoping to sleep. Yeah, to say it sucked would be an understatement. I also would feel a little guilty and bad sometimes, because I was so very emotionally unavailable for just about everyone. I would sometimes make a connection with someone only to see it was not shared. Let me tell you, those were dark days. This went on for years. YEARS I tell you.

Things change, and people change, and the me of 3 years ago is vastly different than the me of today.

I will never make any compromise, or do things that do not make me happy. Every action I take every day for the rest of my life will be done with happiness and joy. I have found a type of bliss and happiness that people look for their entire lives and never find.

If you really, REALLY knew how I was feeling at this very moment, my dear reader, you would be overcome with jealously and lust for the passion my heart is on fire with. You would do anything to try and make it your own, to steal it away from me if you did not have it.

I keep sitting down and trying to make sense of words that can express how much this love is, how deep and real it is. I keep stumbling around, looking for the right words to express. Words are frustrating when it comes to matter of the heart and soul. In my heart, I am married to this woman of my dreams, and nothing can change that.

So my dear reader, more than likely my only reader, what do you say. May I have this feeling forever? I promise to never turn my back on you, to never leave you alone to suffer, to never EVER throw you under the buss, to never say negative things to my friends (if they ever surfaced), to never abuse you in bad ways, to listen to you, to love you, to hold you, every day you will let me.

This feeling staying around is dependent on you. I know that this feeling will keep making you happy, and you will keep doing what makes you happy. :)

I need you more than I have ever needed someone in my entire life.

<3

Are we REALLY getting a bunny?

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