Stabby mc stab stab

So I was digging through some photos online trying to find some of my family when I ran across the ones your friend took of you that one time. You were wearing those shiny fake leather pants and eating lolis and sporting hello kitty half-asian cuteness. I have a thing for dark hair with bright colors mixed in, the fact you were not just a plain jane white girl. You were rad, and cool, and hip and practically emotionless just like me. Talking to you was amazing. We had so much in common, music, movies, life goals, drugs, you fucking name it. We would chat on AIM all day, skype when we could, and I could feel us growing closer and closer. There was never an admission of love, or fonder feelings. And I knew you never really shared them, because that one drunk night when I said "it would suck to not have you to talk to" you heard that, that want in my voice, the hint there is something more there. Instantly it was any excuse not to talk, and you said "I am no longer ok with you, never speak to me again" and I haven't. Not in a year, since it has just been over 12 months now.

I resented you for that night, for taking it all so fast and serious. Did I want more from you? Of course, I was slowly starting to wake up and be able to actually have feelings for someone again, my heart was dead for so long and you were waking it up.

I am so glad you did this act though. I became more guarded, started being alone more, stopped searching, stopped looking, stopped caring and being ok with the thought that maybe there was no one in the world for me.

It was because of you I put my plans on hold to move to NY, because I did not want to risk ever running into you.

Because of you I dug in and got a new job here in Atlanta, instead of running away like I always do.

Because of you I ended up right where I am today.

And today is beautiful.

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